2015 part two

So the first half started with a plummet and plateaued as we dealt with Sean coming and going with work. 

July

Since Sean couldn't stay home, we went to him. Matthew went on his first plane ride; I rented my first rental car and drove it without getting lost. We explored a lot of the area around us and were grateful  just to see Sean at night. We also got to celebrate his birthday with him out of state. 

August 

We tried to establish some normalcy with having Sean home every week day and weekend. It was weird not having to drive to the airport every week or so. 

September 

Matthew, Grandma and I traveled to visit Aunt Amanda. We had a great time going to a drive through zoo, checking out where Uncle Billy works, visiting downtown and just hanging out. 

We also watched cousin Kenzie at her first gymnastics meet of the season. Matthew wanted to get out on the mat with her. 

October

This was a pumpkin filled month. We picked  u out one at a pumpkin patch, went to Seaworld twice for their party. We also went to our first neighborhood party. 

 

We trick or treated around our block. Matthew was good until there was a haunted house. Then he wanted to go bye bye. 

November 

The start of the incline to the roller coaster. We went on our first family cruise! It was a blast, but a totally different experience than our previous cruises. Matthew loved dancing on the lido deck, riding the elevators and climbing the stairs. His favorite food at dinner was the fruit cocktail and he loved the fuss the waiters made over him. I danced with him on formal night as he loved the band. We went to Key West and explored for a couple of hours. For the Bahamas we just got off to get our picture. 

We had a sneaking suspicion that our first cruise as a family of three was actually as a family of four and we confirmed that after the cruise was over. Baby was due in July right around Sean's birthday. Our appointment wasn't until December so we had to wait another month. 

We also celebrated our friend's baby shower as she prepares to welcome a baby GIRL! Those are a rarity around here. Then it was time for Thanksgiving. Matthew played with his cousins on Thursday and then did Thanksgiving with my family on Friday. He wore his big brother shirt to share the good news for my parents. It was a much smaller Thanksgiving on my side as it was our first without Grandpa and Grandma spent it with her other daughters. 

On a spiritual note, our church spent the last half of October and all of this month in devoted prayer and fasting. I focused on the hurt I still had with God about our first miscarriage. Yes, for those counting, my miscarriage happened on Jan. 22, 2013 and Matthew was 18 months at the  time. But I had gone on at a superficial level with him since he had allowed me to suffer. I finally was at peace about the loss of our first baby. 

December 

We peaked and plummeted and had little blips of happy during this month. The month started with our visit to our new OB. My previous one was switching to older women problems and I hadn't really been attached to him anyway. This new one was awesome. He chatted with us, got my full history and told us we would get an ultrasound soon and then another one at 11-12 weeks. Woohoo! And in a surprise from God, we had an ultrasound scheduled that day. Such a blessing. We saw our baby and the heartbeat and we got three pictures! 

In the waiting room before we were called in

Our baby!

We told Sean's side of the family and told  the ladies of girls' night our good news. Then we prepared for a trip to Ft. Lauderdale as Sean had a conference we could go to. But first we would let Matthew spend his first night at Grandma & Poppy's house. Not gonna lie, I cried at the thought of him waking up without me. That was a first for both of us. But we survived and picked up one child and dropped the other (fur) child off.

Oh, Ft. Lauderdale. I went pregnant and came back with an empty womb. We were fortunate to know it was coming. We prayed and said good bye and I sang    Jesus loves you.  I introduced the baby to the family in Heaven - silly, but I was more reassuring myself that our baby wasn't alone. I am so thankful that I have pictures of our baby, proof that our baby existed even if it was only 8 weeks. 

Then we had the holidays and doctor appointment and bloodwork, where I nearly fainted. Matthew redeemed the holidays with simple joys over "ights," his presents and his smile, hugs, hand holding and laughter even when I was crying. He was a little bit into the paper this year, a step up from last year. 

My inlaws gifted us with Disney passes, much to my surprise. 

We used our seaworld passes before they expired. And we hosted Christmas at our new house for the first time. It went well. 

Now the holidays are over. I'm still processing all the lost dreams for next year - no birthday baby for Sean, this Christmas wasn't Matthew's last as an only child, the fears that Matthew may have been our only healthy pregnancy- but I am in a better place spiritually than last time. Praying God's blessing over 2016, especially for a healthy, full term pregnancy with a living baby in 2017 it seems.